On the earthworm’s calendar, this is the time of year that gardeners start digging down from above and bob-bob-bobbin’ robins drop in at the worm hole for dinner — to eat the host. Life at the surface gets about as breathless as it can be for a creature without lungs.

Nevertheless, the earthworms are surfacing. Spring showers have coaxed them out of the ground, and the gardeners and robins are overjoyed to see them.

The damp days before the summer sun starts to bake the landscape allow earthworms to move around more easily above ground. Since they breathe directly through their skin, their outer membranes need to stay moist and porous; if they dry out, they suffocate. If you’re an earthworm blindly searching for a mate (that’s right, they don’t have eyes either), your chances of getting lucky are a lot better above ground than down in your tiny isolated tunnel.

What do you think of the dandelion? Not much, right?

We’ve got this idea that this hardy little plant is a blight, and collectively we spend millions of dollars and uncounted hours waging chemical warfare against its persistent insinuations into our lawns and landscapes. It frustrates us so cheerfully and with such a sunny demeanor that our ultimate defeat is not just tactical, it’s moral. We are beaten year after year by the botanical equivalent of a smiley face. For certain scowley-faced green-lawn-obsessive guys I know, it’s infuriating.